Deep blue embers

Yep. I'm sad again. Well...silently.Not weeping.

Anyway...as you may know, last year me and mymomwere at grancenaria for a month. On Januray the 2nd, we'll be going again but only for 2 weeks. But we're going to that shity apartment where the cockroachs are creeping through your windows and a band plays in the middle of the damn night. Not to mention that scary elivator.

Guys...my mom wants to live there one day...
why? What does she see on that shity island?There is no good waterlike we have here and dangers lurks everywhere in my eyes... Not to mention that spain is the most crimial state of europse. Trust me...I've heard from Dos Winkel that Spain kills more sharks than the rest of europe.

Why not stay here in holland? OR MOVE MORE TO THE SOUTH SIDE OF HOLLAND!?
* sigh * My life will change badly when I turn 18...I won't be able to handle it all on my own....at all...my mother will be free to do what she wants...but I'm not ready yet...not at all...

I want to go back to the past...I want things to be happy again...but no...sooner or later, I will loose my sweet doggies Lina and Saffy because dachshunds only live up to 15 or 13 years...my favorite cartoons and movies are going to be FUCKED by sequals. Frced to make by greedy people trying to get money. Ripping offthe origonality in order to get there...

I feel...empty these days...no inspiration...nothing. Justcrankyness and sadness. I don't know what it is....

It almost feels like my happyness is fading away slowly. I kow this sound slike bullcrap and that I need to stop. But...do you see this cup of cares? It's empty...

Just like me...